Living la vida loca

For those who cares! Stellar Rich cannot be reach currently... AKA is OUT OF ACTION for a bit! I’m in South Africa folks! Reason for no show - Living la vida loca *wink-wink* Business will resume.... hopefully in a couple of weeks time!

Adieu for now. Indeed parting is such sweet sorrow yes even among virtual friends. My sweet virtual friends whom I have since hold dear to heart. The pang of missing the ache is no less real till one is able yet again to be among friends. Adieu till it be morrow...adieu

This poem is inspired the morning after......... *contented sigh* I love you my baby!

YOU

From our first hello
I feel a rush a soft gentle glow
My heart began to mellow
I am in love with you, of this I know
I was not looking, I was not searching

Quite un-expectantly

Alas… Love found me
Almost instantly
I was swapped away
On that faithful day

There you were
With the sweetest smile ever
Strangers, friends, lover
To have and to hold
Two heart, one soul


Spring ends, summer comes, fall will go & winter will follow
Yesterday, today and all of tomorrow
Baby… you and I know
Its destiny, YOU & ME… we are meant to be

My love…
I know then, like I know now
I love you, I want you, I need you…
Know this… I don’t ever want to be without you

YOU… to me
Will always be.
My one, my only, my sweet Valentine!

Baby, Be mine.

Boys Don't Cry

I was minding my own business enjoying a cup of cappuccino and people watching on a lazy afternoon. I noticed a young mother walked in seems in a hurry towards the information counter near by. I suspect it is yet another case of missing child in the mall. True enough seconds latter I hear announcements for a missing boy. Fortunately someone found the missing child and brought the poor terrified kid to the counter.


Mother and child united all is well and happy, yes? Noooo…. to my horror the young mother reprimanded the child almost immediately and slaps the boy smack across the face! When the boy started to cry the young mother got even fiercer, she yanked the child’s arm and shouted “Don’t cry! I’m telling you stop it! Shame on you! Boys don’t cry!

Excuse me... say what! Boys don’t cry … and pray tell why not?

No seriously… why the hell not? Why do parents insist on this boys don’t cry nonsense. Firstly, the poor thing is a child for crying out loud! Secondly had you been more vigilant perhaps the kid would not have wondered out of your sight. From the numbers of carrier bags the mother was carrying I’d say the woman was doing some serious shopping. Third, duh! Aren’t you glad that some decent chap found your child and the poor kid is safely back with you? The scene attracted quite an interest for the on lookers and passer by. The mother insisted the child to stop crying which did not help much as the angrier she got the more the child cried. Honestly I pitied the child, poor kid!

What is my point here? I don’t think if a boy or a grown man cries that makes him sissy or less of a man. On the contrary, I think it is brave of a grown man to not be ashamed to feel the need to express emotions like, to cry. Fear, sadness, disappointments and grief are all human emotions are they not? These human emotions do not discriminate gender. Why use a different standard for daughters and another for sons! Why deprived sons emotionally and psychologically in life. As if being tough means, to continue to hide true emotions and acting unfeelingly. Parents in general it seems are in cahoots in this generally accepted behavioral pattern and belief “men don’t cry” thingy and societies in general it seems share this common consensus what a man should be like.It’s as if, life changing events like sons sent off to war, loosing one’s job, the break up of a relationship, or even death of a love one or family members, are feelings to be suppressed simply because men- don’t-cry? What rubbish!

Now I’m no psychologist mind you but surely we don’t need one to tell us that as a child we tend to response to our parents counter psychological messages. An emotionally distant father though unconsciously creates a template on which a male child will build his characters and behavioral pattern later in his own life. Perhaps cultural stereotyping is to be blamed. Even today, you see a heroic male figure so often represented in most films and even television.

Parents tells sons things like, ‘you have to be strong and stand up for yourself’ or "to succeed in life you have to work hard, life is s struggle the better equipped you are the more likely you are to succeed". Duh! Life is a struggle regardless of your gender!

Followings are what researchers found and reported in a brief article in a recent health magazine journal.
The restriction of emotional expression can lead to many problems including:

• Health issues, due to carrying chronic tension in the body.

• Relationship difficulties due to an inability to resolve emotional conflicts and/or a perceived lack of ability to be intimate.

• Psychological problems such as depression, insomnia and anxiety.

• Behavioral issues such as violence when bottled up emotions are channeled into violence.

Pssst...psssst... come closer... closer... YES YOU!

Once upon a time not so long ago all was not well in my tiny claustrophobic world!

In a nut shell, simply put, major life changing events caught me totally off guard and places me in a downward spiral. For a while there I thought I would never get out of it. Simply put, life threw me one curve ball after another. They came so rapidly unexpectedly fast and furious. Its like I was on a life support machine and some one suddenly pulls the plug on me. Like a nightmare, only it goes on even when you are awake. My world it seems came tumbling down pretty much like a stack of cards crashing. At least that’s how it was for awhile back then. I was disheartened, disappointed, confused, afraid and even felt defeated. I guess in retrospect, I was mostly angry. Angry at whom, what specifically I don’t know but I allowed and let anger totally consumed me.

Good thing.. I am stubborn and bless with a thick skin! I recall someone very dear to me said once” anger is the devil’s best friend” Sure… laugh away if you may but it is true. You see.. when you are angry your emotion takes control and the more angry you get the more blinded you become of any sight of the reality you are caught in and you just cant think right. Anger robs you of any sense of reason. Anger muddles everything so badly that you are not able to see any solution but mostly anger blinded you of a way out even when the way out are staring you right in the face!

A cliché as this statement may be, the thing is in life obstacles and road blocks need not be all that bad or necessarily ending disastrous all the time. Infect, one should be thank full that, the fact that you fall flat on your face from time to time and sometime blows after blows of one whammy after another with determination and perseverance with sheer grit and mostly God’s grace lets not forget that, you bite the bullet and hang on for your dear life. Sure you stumble and fall and wobble but faith yes faith is what makes the whole world of difference. Faith will get you to get up again. Faith gives you that last bit of will power and strength to brave it all. Sure you get up with great difficulties but what is important is, you pull yourself up together.

Without being overly mellow dramatic I ‘d sum up what I went through back then as my personal journey of rude awaking, life changing ride of emotional tsunami. For now the storm has simmer down and pass through it seems. Sure the road ahead is much clearer of debris leaving only bits and pieces and remnants of partially broken dreams, shattered what took years to build but I guess I hate to admit it, it’s just bruised ego mine that is, that need a lot of work on still. But you know what? Even with all that happened I’d still say I am most fortunate to have gone through and experience it.

The sky is clearer these days. Not so perfectly blue for you can still see rain clouds looming here and there. But you know what? It’s OK! That’s right… it’s OK!I think with faith the human spirit can be rock solid if we want it to be! You stumble, you fall. You pick yourself up again, dust your battered spirit which for the most part if you can be honest with yourself upon taking a closer look and examine is actually a bruised ego.

I take my leave for now and part with a personal message and only have this much to add. What ever obstacles, difficulties, and bumps you may be going through, take a breather STOP and have a conversation with yourself.

Tell yourself, I WILL NOT LET UNFAVORABLE CIRCUMSTANCES ROB ME OF MY SANITY, I WILL NOT SUCCUMB IN DEFEAT!

Pssst… psssst come here… no closer … you know something else?

FORTUNE FAVORS THE BRAVE *wink-wink*

OUT & about in South Africa

The term Rainbow Nation was first coined by an Anglican Archbishop name Desmond Tutu during the post – apartheid South Africa era. Nelson Mandela later in 1996, in his speech proclaimed” "Each of us is as intimately attached to the soil of this beautiful country as are the famous jacaranda trees of Pretoria and the mimosa trees of the bushveld - a rainbow nation at peace with itself and the world” The term 'Rainbow Nation' is mostly applied in the context of democracy. Today people the world over know South Africa by this term.

At the other end of the rainbow shall we say a much wider and alternative interpretation if you may is the international recognition of the rainbow widely known as an alternative symbol and adopted by the LGBT community as the colors of the rainbow symbolizes multiculturalism, diversity and tolerance! In South Africa, a Civil Union bill was introduced allowing two persons, which is solemnized and registered by either a marriage by civil union and finally the South Africa’s parliament voted and legalizes same-sex marriage in the country. To date, South Africa joins the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain and Canada among the nations in the world to allow same-sex marriages.

I love the rain. As a child I remember sneaking out of the house when it rains. When the rain stops and the sun comes out, I would wait with such excitement for the rainbow to make its appearance. Even today as an adult the soothing pitter patter of the rain falling on the roof soothes me. There is something magical about the rain and the rainbow to me. Till this very day every time it rains, I make it an effort to stop what I am doing for a while to free my mind and simply enjoy the beauty of the rain.

I was in South Africa not long ago. I fall in love with the simplicity of life while I was on an extended break there. The country itself is colorful indeed. That’s not to say that the harsh side of life is absence in South Africa. No, no… no… you can see people struggling to make their daily living everywhere. The absence of easy excess of mobility in terms of public transport somehow does not in any way taint my wonderful experience the whole time I was there. Everywhere I go, I see people with this easy, laid back, que sera… sera outlook to life. You can see the harshness of life in many of them but you know what ...gosh they are happy people! It was totally an eye opener for me! It made me want to reexamine my own take on life and happiness. It made me question why I am such a chronic procrastinator. The trouble with me is I think and plan too much. I have always held dearly to this philosophy; if you fail to plan then you have plan to fail. But guess what, everything do not always worked out like you map it out to be! I have always been prudent. I always preempt the “what-if” scenario and quite frankly I am getting sick of planning all the what-ifs. Over the years it has gotten worst. A, shall we say unexpected series of turn of events was the rude awakening I badly needed. When realizations sink in, regrets came flooding in. I went into that, I should have or I wish I had mode. I am tired and sick of preempting, planning and planning yet never executing much in the end.

I had to say goodbye to South Africa momentarily. But my heart never left her! She gives me the clarity I have long search for. She embraces me for what I am and I left her a different woman. Life will never be the same again for I will not let it be. Yesterday is history, today is all that counts while tomorrow life’s lessons and adventure awaits me! South Africa, my beautiful soul savior!

Adieu ... past life.... hello new beginning. I’m traveling light these days. I’m leaving all my baggage behind me. I hear her calling. My bold, beautiful South Africa beckons.. awaits me at the end of my journey. Soon… soon my lovely. Soon when I am coming home, I’m coming home to you… my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

WHO AM I

I am an individual of few words. This poem is inspired when an online friend asked me, who are you? Friend... embrace me with an open mind, open your heart as with each words I give you a private glimpse into my world, understand and read between the line, indeed who am I. Enjoy!

WHO AM I

I look into the mirror
A reflection smiles back at me

I am YOU
I am ME
I am also who I want me to be…

Like YOU…
I look for answers to life’s mystery
Like ME…
You search for your place in life’s beautiful journey

I am weak and I am strong
I am invincible, vulnerable, RIGHT and many a time I am WRONG
Meek, powerless like the tiniest creature
Aggressive…. fearless when faced with danger
The devil sneaks a peek from time to time within me
I too struggle to be as good as I can be

Life is an exciting journey
An endless window of opportunity
YOU, ME, & the rest of the world
We are all bind to our destiny

I know not what tomorrow will be
I know not what the future holds for me
BUT I know….
If I set my mind free
If I open my heart and embrace what’s meant to be
Anything and everything is a possibility

I am a survivor
I WILL NOT DIE AN UN-LIVED LIFE
Of this I know for sure….